I guess it's time for an update!
It has been 5 weeks since Cody and I split. I woke up one night this week and was like, "Where am I?!" Then I remembered everything. That was kind of weird, but it has only happened once since the first few nights in the new apartment.
I have had some very sad days and I have had some very happy days. As everyone kept telling me, the sad days will get fewer and fewer....and they have! Almost two weeks ago, I had a VERY catharsic day...and haven't been that low since! When I am happy now, I am REALLY happy! My entire world is wide open! When I am sad, it's just because I miss my usual comfort zone.
Life has taken on a different meaning since all of this. I spent 5 years doing the responsible thing and what was expected. You know what? Not anymore!!! I will do what I feel like and what makes me happy! I have had fabulous old friends and new ones come out of this to support me. I will never again take that for granted! I've seen what family really means. Some have been unconcerned and not been there...but I expected that from them. No great loss. What IS a loss is for me to take the valuable family for granted.
When all of this happened, I felt like I should never trust anyone and not let anyone matter to me anymore. Now, I see that the opposite is true. I invested so much into one person that I shut everyone else out....and THEY were the true jewels! I have realized alot in the past 5 weeks...and CONTINUE to learn more! What an experience! What a time of personal growth!
Anyway, Mel and I are headed to Nashville for a concert tonight. I am SuPeR pumped! WOO HOO! Girls' night!!! It feels awesome!
I Am Not A Duck
So I was leaving for work yesterday morning and heard a conversation between the male and female DJ's on the radio. Apparently, he had been slammed in some article and she was reassuring him. She said, "Do NOT let that bother you! If I said, 'You're a duck,' you would just be like, 'What's she talking about? Of course I'm not a duck, I don't have feathers!' It's so crazy that you know it isn't true, but since I said it about YOU, you question it. When people say things about you, you should know they aren't true, but you still worry about them. There's no reason to. Now, when you hear people say things about you, imagine me calling you a duck."
Yesterday played out to me being accused of lying and twisting the story. I twisted NOTHING. So, obviously, Cody is telling different versions. I knew going into this, that it would be ugly. I just didn't realize that the man that I loved so deeply would do so much to trash me. I know it makes him look completely innocent for him to leave big parts of our marriage out, but we are BOTH to blame for things.
Anyway, I just thought I would share the DJs' conversation. I do not care what the people who are dumb enough to only get one side of the story and think that they have enough information to judge say. I am NOT a duck! Remember that, people! (Or, as Van Wilder would say, "Write that down.)
Yesterday played out to me being accused of lying and twisting the story. I twisted NOTHING. So, obviously, Cody is telling different versions. I knew going into this, that it would be ugly. I just didn't realize that the man that I loved so deeply would do so much to trash me. I know it makes him look completely innocent for him to leave big parts of our marriage out, but we are BOTH to blame for things.
Anyway, I just thought I would share the DJs' conversation. I do not care what the people who are dumb enough to only get one side of the story and think that they have enough information to judge say. I am NOT a duck! Remember that, people! (Or, as Van Wilder would say, "Write that down.)
Daily Bible Verse
About a year ago, I subscribed to this Daily Bible Verse via email. It is absolutely AMAZING how God sends me scripture pertinent to my life at that time. There have been NUMEROUS times this has happened. Here is today's scripture:
Daily Bible Verse
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (New King James Version)
Tomorrow is a big day..I will see Cody for the first time in 2 weeks. I am scared to death of how he's going to act. (Mainly, I'm afraid he's going to try to run away from facing up to our situation.) I have been VERY anxious.
I put my husband before God in my marriage and that was a mistake. Now look who has turned his back on me and then look Who hasn't.
Daily Bible Verse
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (New King James Version)
Tomorrow is a big day..I will see Cody for the first time in 2 weeks. I am scared to death of how he's going to act. (Mainly, I'm afraid he's going to try to run away from facing up to our situation.) I have been VERY anxious.
I put my husband before God in my marriage and that was a mistake. Now look who has turned his back on me and then look Who hasn't.
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